The Five Love Languages

These five love languages are a brief summary of Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. In it, Chapman discusses how different people show and receive love differently. When two people speak different languages they can repeat themselves over and over but the other person will never understand what they are saying, until they learn each other’s language. In the same way, we may feel that we let others know how much we love them regularly but if they speak a different love language, they may still feel “unloved” or visa versa.

Don’t continue to run on empty. Learn to keep your love tank filled. Apply these methods to determine the love language of your spouse, children, or anyone special in your life.

Acts of Service:
Do you feel most loved when someone does something for you? Does your loved one feel most loved when you serve him or her? Your daughter may feel loved by giving her a ride to school, making her lunch, cleaning her room, or doing her chore when you notice she has an extra amount of homework. You may feel loved when your spouse vacuums the floors or fixes you dinner. This could be your love language if you feel special when someone serves you.

Quality Time:
Do you feel loved when someone spends time with you? Does your loved one light up when you take him to lunch or when you sit on the sofa to ask about his day? Does she appreciate your undivided attention? Most of us do, but some want even more. If this is true for someone in your life take the time to communicate your love. Stop what you’re doing, stop running around, and focus on him or her.

Physical Touch:
Do you feel most loved when you get a hug? Does someone in your life enjoy having their back rubbed or her arm lightly touched as you sit in front of the TV? What about holding hands? How does that make you feel? Physical touch is not about sex, it’s about feeling loved by being touched.

Do you appreciate the thoughtfulness of a gift. This can be a card or a piece of candy or something more extravagant. Usually the person who is loved by gifts lights up with the smallest token that says, I love you and I was thinking about you.

Words of Affirmation:
Everyone wants to hear positive words of encouragement and praise. There is the person that thrives on and feels especially loved by your affirming words. Their love tank is filled. The opposite happens when we use discouraging words and put downs. This person will take those negative words and feel defeated and unloved. Be careful how you use your words.

Try to figure out how you feel most loved. There are usually two that best describe your love language. Experiment with your loved ones to see how they feel loved as you love them in the different love languages. Ask your family which love language best meets their needs. When you describe each of the five love languages they will usually be able to tell you. Make sure you communicate your love language to others. Now start loving them according to how they feel most loved and watch what happens.

The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman
Click on image to find out your love language.

God’s Word To Live By:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promise to those who love him.

Luke 6:27
But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.

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