Who Do You Need To Forgive?

Do you lash out in anger, frustration or rage? Do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts or having a critical attitude? Are you passive aggressive or hold everything in trying to be the peacemaker?

These simple communication signs can indicate a root of bitterness stemming from an unforgiving heart. Most of us have someone to forgive, whether a past offense or someone who remains in our life daily. A simple prayer like the following will reveal truth:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

Who do you need to forgive? You may be surprised at who comes to your mind. Sometimes we bury those offenses due to shame and guilt and as a means to cope, but deep down there is a root of bitterness toward that person who harmed you or wronged you in some way. Sometimes the offense can be imagined or suspected without any evidence. Pray. Ask God to reveal the people you need to forgive. Write a list of names of those who God puts in your mind. If you need to look at the following list to jog your memory:

Father  • Childhood bully • Boyfriend • Girlfriend • Date • Rapist • Drunk driver • Teacher • Step-Father • Mother • Step-Mother • Husband • In-laws • Brother • Sister • Cousin • Uncle • Aunt • Coach • Children • Grandparent or grandchildren • Yourself

According to Dr. Neil Anderson author, Victory Over Darkness and Bondage Breaker, 95 percent of clients who get counseling list mother or father as their number one or two person whom they need to forgive.

God took me on a journey of healing by writing letters. When I asked God to direct me to write my first letter my Great Aunt Daisy popped into my mind. Scanning my long list of names in search for Aunt Daisy I realized I never put her on my list. When I began my letter I realized I harbored bitterness and anger toward my Great Aunt for not being the loving grandmother figure she should have been when she replaced the grandmother I never knew.

Through the process of writing my letter I forgave Daisy, healed that relationship, and spent loving quality time recording her stories before she died at ninety-seven years old.

Do  you want to be free to love? You must forgive. After God reveals who to forgive look for the steps on how to forgive beginning with, No Pain, No Gain.

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1 Comment

  1. I wrote recently in my blog a post I entitled “change your thoughts change your life” where I touched on this idea of passive aggressive. I will revisit your blog again.


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