If I Had Chosen Another Way

Meet Tara, a thirteen-year-old, wise beyond her years, given a second chance at life.

It all started in 5th grade. My first boyfriend, my first real feelings for a guy. I thought nothing of it at first but that led to guy, after guy, after guy. And slowly I started to realize I was missing pieces of me that I could never get back. My self-respect, my purity. I didn’t want to, but for some reason that didn’t stop me. I lost my innocence without going all the way.

I wanted to be wanted. Wanted to be accepted. Unfortunately I was willing to do whatever it took. I thought I felt complete, whole again, but when I got home at night I would think to myself about how incomplete I truly was. I knew that the only way I could feel that way again was through God but why wasn’t I willing to go that way? I didn’t know until three years later. Which was actually a few weeks ago.

I made a huge mistake, again trying to be accepted and wanted. I had no idea what was going through my mind but it resulted in the worst possible way. Near death. One of my closest friends actually saved my life that day, and after I got back from the hospital I immediately accepted God, back into my life. I wanted to be like her. I wanted to be me! That experience showed me who my true friends were, who were going to be there through thick and thin, who loved me and accepted me for me.

God was always there for me, the entire way here. And he still is, and always will be. I let him go in the first place, because I was asking and praying for things I knew I wouldn’t receive, foolish things. But I got angry at God when it never came. Even for reasonable things. But I realize now that I was asking, he was listening, but I was not listening in return. I had to listen for the answer. Before, I never put effort into my relationship with Christ.

God helped me find my true self by showing me the way to eternal life. I want that more than anything, I want to be accepted and loved by him. And I want to be complete. And the way to that is through him. I have asked him to guide me every step of the way. I realize I do not need those things to be happy, just God. From that night on, God is my high and he is my everything.

If I had chosen another way
Would this life that I’m living stay?
Like all this nonsense, is it true?
That all this truly makes you, you?

If I had chosen another way
would all I ever do is pray?
If God was my true love and hope
And I never had to cry nor mope?

Now answer this if you will
Now that this world is standing still,
If God was love, and God was life,
Would there still be hunger and strife?

If we all cared, if we all tried
Would the less fortunate still survive?
Cause I don’t see the change we need
For living an eternity

Lord promised that someday we’d reach
That greater place if we’d all teach
The love he shares, the light he shines
So that we may see our God, divine

But how we get there, I don’t know
I’ll look to God, he’s there to show
I know someday we’ll be there soon
If we all learn to seek the tomb

The grave at which love lived and died
So that we may all be sanctified

If we tried to hear, to see
What God truly did for you and me

So answer this, just one last time
How do we end this noxious crime?

Is God the love, the hope we need
To stop this fight, this strife…indeed
He is the love, the life, the time
That we’ll use to escape this grime

Do you want to live in peace
United all as one big piece?
That peace could calm the wildest storm,
A dream that has not yet been born.
A dream of hope, a dream of glad
Is that not what we all dream we had?

It is for me, it is my life
That I hope will make my life right.

So together here we stand by night
Let’s take God’s hand, let’s shine his light
Upon this empty, earthy mess
We will at last know we are blessed.

United here, together we stand
Upon God’s earth, upon our land.

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