How Do You Feel Loved?

Do you love yourself? I’m not talking about being selfish. God created you to feel loved in a certain way. It’s important to know how you feel most loved. Then communicate that to the people in your life. Learn how others in your life feel loved to make the effort to love them. God has created each of us in a special way. The book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman describes the love languages.

It’s critical to have your love tank full to love those around us. If our love tank is on empty it’s hard to love others. Look at the following list to determine how you feel loved. Talk about your love language with those in you life to ensure they love you in that way.

What’s your love language?

Acts of Service: Do you feel most loved when someone does something for you? When someone does your laundry, do you feel like they care for you? Your love language could be acts of service if you feel special when someone makes you dinner, cleans the house, or runs an errand to make your life easier.

Quality Time: Do you feel loved when someone spends time with you? Do you feel appreciated, valued, and special when someone invests time in a conversation with you? Is it important and special for you to go to lunch or just sit on the couch to talk with a friend or family member one on one?

Physical Touch: Do you feel most loved when you get a hug? Do you like to have your back rubbed or your arm lightly touched as you sit in front of the TV. What about holding hands? How does that make you feel? Although, physical touch is not supposed to mean sex I noticed my hugs led to misunderstandings. Now, we agreed on the days of the week to be intimate, which causes less confusion and no rejection. I can give lots of hugs without worry if I’m sending the wrong message.

Gifts: Do you appreciate the thoughtfulness of a gift. This can be a card, a box of candy or something more extravagant. Usually the person who is loved by gifts lights up with the smallest token that says I thought about you.

Affirmation: Everyone wants to hear positive words of encouragement and praise. Some people thrive on affirming words. Their love tank is filled with compliments. The opposite happens when we use discouraging words and put downs. This person will take those negative words and feel defeated and unloved.

When I feel unaffirmed by my husband I will sweetly say to him, “Honey, I need to have my love tank filled with some affirming words.” I always make it a gentle reminder in a loving way. I’m aware that he feels loved by my hugs, which I fail to do often. When our spouse or children have a different love language then ourselves it makes loving them in their love language much more meaningful. How do you feel most loved?

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