Dear Nana

My father called to inform me of your death. I stopped working at my desk. For a moment I listened. Would I go to your memorial service? My life was busy building my career, pregnant with my first child, buying my first home. I had no time to mourn your loss, a woman unknown to me. But today, ten years later I wept the loss of an opportunity to reach out to a lonely woman related to me, imprisoned by a metal chair, longing to be loved and forgiven. I mourned for my father whose selfish daughter was unavailable during his time of loss.

From you I learned that choices impact generations. The consequences of promiscuity caused children to be sacrificed. Your spouse and children were victims of abandonment through your emotional detachment and betrayal, ripped apart forever through the devastation of divorce. The legacy of infidelity and divorce passed down to your son influencing another generation; shaping society around me, my children and theirs.

Aware of your mistakes I make the choice to change the pattern set before me. I follow a narrow path. I no longer condemn you for I could easily have fallen into the same temptation, but the truth set me free, empowered by the Spirit, my old ways are gone. I stand a new woman no longer a little girl looking for a father’s love through sexual immorality.

Nana, your frail body just an outer shell of a hurting soul wounded from a past that no one will ever understand. Only God can fully know how deep the suffering brought your way by choices you have made. From Him a plan of healing that surpasses earthly wisdom is granted to all that choose to follow. Now, gone to a place uncertain, you leave behind your pain that others bare with lessons to be learned. Grateful for the life brought through your son, my father, I live today. Forgive me for my neglect, for not reaching out to you, to show you mercy and compassion, for I had none to give at that time.

Remembering you,
Your granddaughter

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