Tearing Down Rock Walls

After our fourth child was born I insisted we buy a larger house for our family. My husband teases me that he gives me an inch and I take a mile. It’s true, especially back then. When he said to look for a house in a certain price range I pushed the envelope. We bought a home that made him feel financially burdened and stressed. And for the first time in our thirteen years of marriage we fought. 

During the fourteen years of our relationship my husband made all the decisions, voiced his opinion, and got his way, because I allowed it with my silent agreement. But with the house and landscaping I wanted to make some decisions. Quite honestly, I wanted it my way and I stood my ground. 
 
The facade of a perfect marriage crumbled as I disagreed with my husband for the first time. Digging deep into my heart and my past I exposed the rocks of resentment, anger, and pain that were buried under the surface, hidden in the depths of denying my feelings for years. 

I started looking at the rocks that I was uncovering and I started throwing them by lashing out with anger. I built a wall around my heart with the rocks of pain, sorrow and regret. The more I resented him the deeper my hole until finally I dug myself deep into a pit. Here Jesus met me. He extended his hand and I grabbed on. He lifted me out and put me on solid ground as I clung to his promises from the Word of God. “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh,” (Ezekiel 11:19).

As new Christians God began to tear down our old foundation of disrespect, entitlement, high expectations, self-righteousness, pride, and resentment to give us a new rock solid foundation built on His Word. Now I praise God for my husband and what God has done in him and through him to mold and shape me into who I am. In December Mark and I celebrate twenty-five years of marriage that has not always made us happy, but has made each of us more holy.

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