How High Is Your Wall?

After my fourth child was born I insisted we buy a larger house for our family. My husband teases me that he gives me an inch and I take a mile. It was true, especially back then. When he said to look for a house in a certain price range I pushed the envelope. We bought a home that made him feel financially burdened and stressed. And for the first time in our thirteen years of marriage we fought.

During the course of our marriage my husband made all the decisions, voiced his opinion, and got his way, because I let him. But with the house and landscaping I wanted to make some decisions. Quite honestly, I wanted it my way and I stood my ground.

The facade of a perfect marriage crumbled as I disagreed with my husband for the first time. Digging deep into my heart and my past I exposed the rocks of resentment, anger, and pain that were buried under the surface, hidden in the depths of denying my feelings for years.

I started looking at the rocks that I was uncovering and I started throwing them by lashing out with anger. I built a wall around my heart with the rocks of pain, sorrow and regret. The more I resented him the deeper I dug myself into a pit of despair. Here Jesus met me. He extended his hand and I grabbed on. He lifted me out and put me on solid ground as I clung to his promises from the word of God.

I rejoice in what God has done to change me. I relate to King David when he proclaimed, “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD (Psalm 40:1-3).
Are you in the pit? Have you built a rock wall around your heart? Know that God is with you. He will take you out of the pit. He can soften your heart when you seek Him and give Him praise. Focus on your blessings and what He wants to do in and through you. Check out my article on How To Conquer Fear.

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