God Is Jealous For Me

Sometimes God gets our attention when something is taken away. He loves us that much. When we wash our hands and purify our hearts and change our laughter to mourning we experience God as illustrated by Carrie’s Story:
Devastated and confused I questioned, how could something so happy and honest be turned around so quickly, like a flash flood of sin washing away all that was good?

My husband and I were happily in love. We gave birth to our baby girl before he deployed for five months in early 2009. While I was at home taking care of our three-month old baby, my husband started a double life that led to adultery, abandonment of his family and faith, and eventually, divorce.

I spent the next several months in a fog. I wept on my floor, crying out to God for mercy. I couldn’t imagine life being any different from the little bubble I created and controlled.

What I came to learn is that He is jealous for me. God wants to be number one in my life, not second fiddle to my husband or my new baby.

My priority changed. I read my bible, pouring over the Psalms that seemed to be written just for me. I got involved in my church. I became acquainted with powerful women like Joyce Meyer and Beth Moore, and Charlene Steinkamp, who have taught me how to study the bible and believe in God’s promises.

I have fallen head over heels in love with Jesus.

I knew I needed to forgive my husband. I found a book called Freedom Through Forgiveness by Nathan Daniel. It was a quick read, less than 100 pages and I read it with an open mind and heart. At the end I said the prayer. I released the anger and bitterness that grew so intensely in those initial first months.

A year later, I can shout from the mountain top that I am free. I have no bitterness toward my husband. He is forgiven by me. Someday my husband will stand before a Holy God to give an account for every word and action, but so will I. We all fall short, but God is faithful and loves a repentant and contrite heart.

I have never stopped praying for my prodigal husband, and I never will. Yet, because of this crisis I can say that I am changed. I am thankful for the trial. I have grown. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has a plan for me, to prosper and not harm me, to give me hope and a future as I seek him with all of my heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Do you know that God is jealous for you?

You can visit Carrie at http://praythroughanything.blogspot.com/.

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1 Comment

  1. thanks for posting this! God is good, all the time.


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